24 April 2005 0349z
24 April 2005 0349z So last night is one of those nights that I'll remember for a long time. This was my first fight ever, so I didn't quite know what to expect going into it. I had five meetings throughtout the day, and at each one, people would come up to me and ask about the fight. That was kind of neat, but I'll be honest now that it's all over. I tried to play it off, but I was flat out scared. The First Sergeant was trash-talking all week; and I know he was just playing it up, but it got to me. I had just a few days to prepare against some guy who had a weight, height, reach, and experience advantage over me. I had quite a few guys giving me pointers throughout the week, but when they came at me with guns blazing, I had a tendency to panic. I had a feeling that I was going to take a quite a few punches.

As 1400z rolled around, I was heading to my last meeting just an hour before fight time. Some huge storm clouds started rolling in and there were grumblings at the thought of having to postpone the fight. Me, I just wanted to get it over with, though I wouldn't have minded having a few extra days to train. By the time I got out of my meeting, though, the rain still hadn't started and the ring was starting to get set up. There was no turning back then. People started showing up one by one until we had a nice crowd somewhere in the triple digits. Some of the civilian contractors even caught wind of it, and I saw some guys with KBR hats in the crowd. The First Sergeant and I just hung out in our office for a little bit as fight time neared and we laughed at the mess we created for ourselves. It was exciting though, and we ended up taking a couple of pre-fight pictures with the two of us smiling and intact just in case things would turn sour after the fight. Time itself seemed to slow down to a standstill as the clock neared 1500z. Near the end, I just wanted to get it over with.

So okay, pictures taken and everything else is ready. It was time to make our entrance. We tried to make it as cheesy as possible. I used a poncho liner as a little makeshift robe, and the BICC followed me into the ring with a reflective PT belt he held up in the air. After I dropped the robe, he put it on me like a championship belt. And then the First Sergeant walked in afterwards. The crowd was awesome. We had the lights running, and the field ambulance was pulled up to the pad. There were guys on top of vehicles and sheds trying to get a better view of the fight; and almost everyone had a camera with them. Our supply guys took some cones and broomsticks and some rope to cordon off a ring for us. Oh was it country, but it was great.

So yeah...the fight itself. I honestly thought he was going to take it easy on me. I didn't think he was going to punch me in the face much because I have leave in less than a week. But he came out punching. Within two seconds, I had taken two shots straight to the face. That seemed to be the theme throughout the night. At times, I was thinking to myself, I should stop blocking all of these punches with my face. But my arms were just too slow and I couldn't keep that spacing between us with my jabs. It must've been close to triple digits the number of times my head got knocked back in those six long minutes (three rounds at two minutes each). That doesn't seem like a long time; but near the end, my punches had little to no gas left in them.

Some highlights of the fight included a lucky shot I got in the first round. His feet must've been crossed up or something, but I got him on the ground after a little over a minute. He got up almost instantaneously, but it felt good to see him on the ground. He came back punching though, and hit me square in the jaw about 30 seconds later. I was out of it. My knees buckled and I remember the ref counting as my brain tried to piece together what had just happened. I didn't go down, but I wasn't really standing either. I'd never felt like that before. It wasn't a good feeling, but it felt good to be feeling it...if you know what I mean. It's kinda that fight club mentality. It's moments like that that make you truly feel alive. Anyway, he would've taken me out at that point if it had not been for the bell.

The second and third rounds went about the same, except punches started getting softer and softer as we got tired. There weren't any more knockdowns after the first round, but I had taken enough shots to the face to lose the decision at the end. It was a great time, though, and I'm glad that I could do my little piece to improve the morale over here. I'll leave you with a picture of the aftermath. Mom, don't worry. I have all of my teeth still, and I'm still pretty. It's just my pride that is hurt, but it's nothing that two weeks of leave won't take care of.

Oh, and a rematch is definitely under serious consideration. With all of the trash-talking still going on after the fight, I wouldn't be surprised if there was more to follow. July 4th seems like a good day, but we'll see how that goes. I just hope that the troops won't take this as a cue to start calling each other out in the ring. Again, only time will tell. Until then...

22 April 2005 1023z
22 April 2005 1023z So we've got a lot of smart-butts in this unit. Everyone's a comedian, you know? I can't even begin to count the number of times I've been approached by soldiers with some wisecrack about the fight tomorrow night. I'm not complaining though. It's actually pretty fun. First Sergeant and I did this with the intent of raising morale around here, but I didn't think so many people would be getting a kick out of the two of us beating the crap out of each other. There are even rumors of some less-than-legal wagering on the outcome of the match. And while part of me wants to know how I'm doing with the bookmakers, I can't condone that practice as the acting commander of the company.

Anyway, that's pretty much the buzz for the moment. I've been training with the BICC the last few nights and he's sharing with me all of the boxing wisdom he gained from the 6 month class he took while at VMI. That doesn't seem like too much experience, but it's more than I can handle already. The few pops in the face he gave me were enough to teach me a couple of good lessons about keeping my gloves up. I could probably use a good two more weeks or months or even years to prepare, but I guess two more days will do. And since my young specialist took it upon himself to post flyers all over the camp advertising the event, there's no backing out now even if I wanted to.

Oh, and I almost forgot to include a link to SPC Borda and The National Guard Experience. He's enjoying life down in Ghazni where he has picked up writing about nothing in particular. Ahh...the memories. If you've got the time, go and check it out. He made some waves with a humorous little entry about care packages and what not to send. Though right now, with only a few months left and everyone getting ready to pack, I don't think guys would be upset if the packages stopped coming.

20 April 2005 1452z
20 April 2005 1452z So the date is set. In less than three days, I will be squaring off in the ring with my First Sergeant and former Army boxing legend. I'm not exactly sure how we ended up deciding on this; but after a day of trash talking back and forth, he finally called me out and we set a time and place to fight it out for all of the soldiers to see. It's just an exhibition match between me and my crusty old first sergeant who's pushing retirement at near 50 years of age; but he's definitely got that old man strength on his side, along with multiple black belts in various martial arts disciplines. He even told me a story of the time he fought on ESPN some 20 years ago. I should be okay, though. I downloaded some boxing lessons on the internet today, and I'll be practicing for the next few nights. Wish me luck?

19 April 2005 2023z
19 April 2005 2033z I saw this headline flash across my screen and I just had to click on it: Qatar to Use Robots as Camel Riders. The basic idea is this: there are some 40,000 boy jockeys, some as young as four years old, and human rights groups from all over have criticized the sport for abusing the children. Pretty neat, huh? Not the human rights violations but the fact that they made a robot to remedy the situation. It's just too bad that even though this all began with human rights in mind, the robots are eventually going to kill all of their masters and TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! Hehe...just kidding. I think it's pretty neat, but I've also seen a majority of the movie I, Robot...so I'll remain skeptical for a little longer.

Anyway, besides that nonsense, the days here are flying by. I think part of it is that I'm getting more sleep. That definitely makes time pass faster. I had two days where I just racked out (six hours one day and 5.5 hours the next) and now I'm back to a somewhat normal polyphasic sleep schedule with a 1-2 cycle core sleeping period at the end of the day. I'm at least going to keep this up through leave so that I won't suffer from any sort of jet lag. Also, over the last few days, I'm getting some practice with throwing my weight around a little and various other commander duties like signing important papers and performing little re-enlistment ceremonies. I've also realized that even though they're grown men, my NCOs need positive reinforcement from their 25 year-old lieutenant and their crusty old first sergeant to help them through their day. So if I don't say it enough, I've seen a lot of improvement over the last few weeks, and these guys have a lot to be proud of. With that said, I'm off to do some reading on military justice and non-judicial punishments. Joy.

19 April 2005 0123z
19 April 2005 0123z So I'm getting a little more excited about leave every day. My buddy just flew back in from the states last night, so I decided to start packing for my trip. I know that those two events aren't quite related, but those were the highlights of my evening last night. That and the fact that I got to talk to Roo over the radio. It's not like we haven't talked on the radio before, but let me explain. You see, Roo and Drew are both rotating back downrange to Ghazni. That kinda sucks because it was pretty cool having them around to talk and bounce ideas off of. But it's not like it's their choice and most people like it downrange anyway, so I don't blame them. But yeah, the TACSAT radio is pretty neat. Instead of our normal FM comms, we use the TACSAT for long range communications. So instead of needing the radio waves to reach your intended receiver, you can shoot it at a nearby satellite and it can retranmit it to everyone else who needs to hear it. Anyway, I was woken up because Roo was calling me about some vehicle issues...which is cool. I don't mind getting woken up. And it was neat talking over the TACSAT because it's like the big net. There are dozens of units and command across the country representing thousands of troops monitoring the net. And me, I'm just chatting with Roo about a truck; so that's kinda cool if you think about it that way.

The first time I called him, I used my call sign, SuperBowl 05; but I realized that was confusing because I'm not really SuperBowl 05. It's too confusing to go over the details here, but there is another LT who is the real SuperBowl 05. So when Roo didn't answer up on the first call, I changed it up and went by SuperBowl 06, my commander's call sign since he was on leave. That was pretty cool...being 06 again. And if I never told you about the SuperBowl speech which explains why we have such a strange call sign, remind me to do that at some other time when we get back to the States.

18 April 2005 0419z
18 April 2005 0419z So it took me a little while to figure it out, but the server to my page actually wasn't down for as long as I thought. I guess the websense thing was blocking me from accessing my page. What threw me off was that websense didn't block my ftp access in the past. So I had to find my way around that. It took me a little bit, but I eventually figured it out. I tried FTPing with firefox and IE, but it wouldn't work right. Then I tried it with a proxy. No luck with IE, but I was able to log on with Firefox. The only problem now was that Firefox wouldn't let me upload. So what other options do I have left? I had to update my web page. I mean, it's been almost a whole week now, and there are things to share. Anyway, after trying multiple methods, I realized that the Army has decided to implement another web filter, and this is what has kept me from updating - not my web server. So my solution after downloading and installing another FTP program and having that not work, was to download Mozilla Suite, which is similar to Firefox; but whose most recent version has an FTP uploading function added. And with that said, I'm back. 17 April 2005 0117z
17 April 2005 0117z It's been a little while since I've slept this long. I went to bed kinda early last night and I took about 6 hours in all. I feel kinda bad about that, but refreshed at the same time.

Anyway, the server has been down for about 5 days now, so I haven't been able to upload for nearly a week. I know that's not really so bad, but it does make me feel kinda sad. I can't even remember how long it's been since I spent a week without updating the page. I guess, over here, it's my way of communicating with home and telling everyone I'm okay and whatnot. There's more to it, but I don't know. It's frustrating. I can't imagine if I actually had an internet business and had such a long outtage. That could be a lot of money, you know?

16 April 2005 0437z
16 April 2005 0437z Okay, more dreams to share. Today, I had a false awakening, but I didn't quite catch it during my dream. It started off with me playing with my ex-girlfriend's parakeet or something. It started to bit my hand - really hard - and then it broke its jaw or something from the experience. At the same time, I chipped one of my teeth. It was really bad, exposing a nerve in one of my bottom teeth. It hurt. Now, during the dream this made perfect sense. The bird broke its jaw from biting on my finger, so it made sense that I chipped my tooth. Looking back, that makes zero sense, but I didn't catch that flaw in logic during my dream.

Anyway, I wake up from my dream and I'm at my phone. I must've fallen asleep at my phone. I walk next door and share my dream with two soldiers from my unit. At that time, I notice that my tooth isn't really chipped and I am very relieved. I start to spin around in circles to make sure that it wasn't a false awakening. I spun around once and started to feel dizzy, so I stopped. I figured I was awake. Looking back at that, I don't think I spun for long enough. Otherwise, I would have figured out that I was still in a dream. Anyway, a minute or so later, I wake up and I'm lying in bed once again.

In total, the dream lasted less than 10 minutes because I went to sleep at 0415 with 45 minutes bofore my 0500z meeting today and I woke up at 0425. But I've realized that I need to find a better reality check. Spinning around in circles in great, but it makes people look at you weird if you realize that it isn't a dream. I need to find something a little more subtle. I think the FAQ I read yesterday referenced looking down at your watch. There's something about reading during a dream or something. I don't know. I'll do a little more research later; but for now, I need to head out to my meeting.

15 April 2005 0108z
15 April 2005 0108z Okay, another pretty wild dream this morning, so I'm going to type as fast as I can to get it down before I forget. For some reason, the first thing I can think of is a redneck in my bed. I don't know who he is, and I'm not quite sure why he is in my bed. But he is. Let me explain. I think I know him because he seems pretty friendly. It may not be a bed. It may be a sofa. It has a blanket over it though. I know I'm getting upset at him because he keeps on adjusting the position of the blanket and gets it dirty with his boots. I'm pretty sure it's a bed now. Anyway, he's giving me advice about women. I think he made a reference to my ex-girlfriend too. He's talking about sex and how a women will do anything to make you happy once you get them drunk and drugged up. I'm not quite sure how that ended up, but the next scene is at my aunt and uncle's old house in New Jersey. It's the one with the old worn out carpet and the fancy-looking door...back in Nutley. I'm not sure why I'm there, but I'm there with my siblings again. We're talking, we're talking, and then I start thinking about leave again. Why am I spending my leave in New Jersey? And then I realize that I'm in a dream.

I start to get excited and then I worry about waking up. So I remember what I read yesterday and start to spin around in circles to stay awake. It's really cool. I knew I was dreaming because dream spinning definitely isn't the same as regular spinning. It was almost in slow motion. Think of watching an MPEG on the internet that has problems rendering because of bandwidth. That's not exactly it, but close. So I'm spinning and I see these blurred images of my family in slow motion. They're looking at me weird as I repeat the words "I think I'm in a dream" out loud over and over again. When I am satisfied with the spinning and the realization that I am in fact in a dream, I quickly explain to my family why I have to go. Well, I didn't really have to go and I hope that my family doesn't get offended by this; but if I had a choice to hang out with my family in a dream or to go out and seek female companionship, the female companionship wins out 9.8 times out of 10. I hope you all understand.

Anyway, I start to head out the door and then it's dark except for a little light in the upper right corner of my vision. I realize then that I am lying in bed in Afghanistan once again. You see, when I know that I am only going to sleep for a short period, I will leave my flashlight on hanging from a nail in the ceiling. I'm not exactly sure why. I think part of it came out of a fear of someone locking me in. You see, everyone works different shifts in our hooch and Roo got locked in twice because people didn't realize he was sleeping when they left. So part of me knows that a flashlight will indicate to others that I'm still around. Plus now I think it'll give me a little psychological cue that I am finally awake while I am experimenting with lucid dreams. Unfortunately, right now, I can't remain lucid for very long; but I am hoping that is something I can change with practice. Also of note is that I am not omnipotent in my dreams. I don't know if I would expect that or not, but I don't have that power either way. It may be something I can play around with in future experiments.

Also, when I woke up, I still had about 15 minutes left before my alarm clock would go off. That meant I couldn't have been asleep for more than 15 minutes. In the future, I will try to go back to sleep to recapture that lucidity if possible. I was just too worried about losing my memory of my dream, so I wanted to get over to my computer to log it before I forgot. It's not like I can't take another 15 minute nap in a few hours anyway, right? Good stuff...

14 April 2005 2351z
14 April 2005 2351z I guess it was only a day or two, but it felt like much longer. My web host decided to conduct some server upgrades - which is good - but they decided not to inform anyone of the temporary down time. Oh well. Not much happened in the last day or so anyway, so no big loss. We've had a lot of meetings and I've had a chance to hang out with MPs a lot more. I don't know if that is good or bad. And other than that, I've just been practicing my French. I'm starting to get excited about leave. 14 April 2005 0051z
14 April 2005 0051z Before I went to sleep about 20 minutes ago, I was looking up a lot of different hotels and hostels in Paris. That was definitely on my mind. But when I started to do the head nodding at the keyboard, I decided it was time to go to sleep. Enter the lucid dream. I was sitting in my house, playing cards with Lenny and Jane for some reason. I don't know who else was in the dream, but we're sitting on the floor in the living room of 10802 Santa Clara Drive. Lenny breaks out some card game. I don't recognize it, but apparently everyone else does. They ask if I want to play along and I say yes even though I don't know how to play yet. For some reason, they don't explain to me how the game works, and I play a few hands, losing each time until I finally blow up at my brother and ask him why he hasn't explained the game to me yet. I get really upset and storm upstairs to the bathroom. I splash some water in my face, calm down a little, and then look at myself in the mirror. I think to myself: why am I spending my leave playing cards instead of going out with my friends? And that's when I realize that I'm not on leave yet. I'm supposed to be spending leave in France. So why am I at home? I must be dreaming. It's not the first time I've had a lucid dream, but it's the first that I actually reasoned through. Usually, I'll see money lying around. For some reason, that's a recurring theme in my dreams. If I see a whole bunch of change on the ground waiting for me to pick up, that's usually a sign that it's a dream. Plus if I somehow end up flying. I can usually figure that one out pretty easily. I'll usually start off jumping for some reason, and then I jump again and again, each time going farther and farther until I realize that I'm in a dream and start flying.

But okay, I'm in a dream. I have control now. What am I going to do next? One thing on my mind...can you guess it? Hehe...okay, so it's sex. I look around and no girls, so I think to myself, who do I need to get over here right now before I wake up. I forgot to mention that at the very moment that I realized that I was dreaming, the lights in the bathroom dimmed...just for a moment. It was enough to make me hurry out of fear of waking up. So I'm standing there in the bathroom thinking about all of the girls I knew in the past who I never had the courage to approach in real life. And while I'm thinking, the world fades around me until I realize that my poncho liner is over my head and I am once again in a plywood building in the middle of Afghanistan. Good times...

Anyway, that got me to thinking about lucid dreams more, and I went online to find an FAQ posted on the Lucidity Institute. I've been flipping back and forth between that site and typing this entry, so I haven't really read through it yet. But what's interesting in what I have skimmed is that they believe it's possible to train yourself to have more control of the lucidity of your dreams. Pretty neat, huh? That's better than having a holodeck on Star Trek. So I'll read a little more about this and probably take some more naps today in an attempt to achieve lucidity.

An excerpt:

3.7 HOW CAN I PREVENT WAKING UP AS SOON AS I BECOME LUCID?

Beginning lucid dreamers often have the problem of waking up right after becoming lucid. This obstacle may prevent some people from realizing the value of lucid dreaming. Fortunately there are ways to overcome this problem.

The first is to remain calm in the dream. Becoming lucid is exciting, but expressing the excitement can awaken you. It is possible to enjoy the thrill that accompanies the dawning of lucidity without allowing the activation to overwhelm you. Be like a poker player with an ideal hand. Relax and engage with the dream rather than withdrawing into your inner joy of accomplishment.

Then, if the dream shows signs of ending, such as a loss of detail, vividness, and apparent reality of the imagery, the technique of "spinning" can often restore the dream. You spin your dream body around like a child trying to get dizzy. LaBerge developed this technique after experimenting with the idea that relaxing completely might help prevent awakening from a dream. When in a lucid dream that was fading, he stopped and dropped backwards to the floor, and had a false awakening in bed! After a few trials he determined that the essential element was the sensation of motion, not relaxation. The best way to create a feeling of movement, especially in the dream scene has vanished, leaving nowhere to move to, is to create angular momentum (or the sensation of it), by spinning around your axis. You are not really doing it, but your brain is well familiar with the experience of spinning and duplicates the experience quite well. In the process the vestibular and kinesthetic senses are engaged. Presumably, this sensory engagement with the dream discourages the brain from changing state from dreaming to waking. Note that dream spinning does not usually lead to dizziness. Be aware that the expectation of possible awakening sometimes leads to a "false awakening" in which you dream of waking. The vividness of the spinning sensation may cause you to feel your spinning arm hit the bed. You think, "Oops, I'm awake in bed now." Think now--your physical body wasn't really spinning, it was your dream body--therefore, the arm is a dream arm hitting a dream bed! To avoid being deceived, recite, "The next scene will be a dream," until a scene appears. If you are in doubt about your status, perform a thorough reality test.

Yeah, pretty interesting stuff, n'est-ce pas? The other thing I'm interested in learning about is how your body can go through a 3 hour sequence of events in a dream while only 10 minutes pass in real life. I don't know if there's a scientific term for this disparity, but I'd be interested in any research that has been done about it. I'd also like to know how that affects the body or at least the mind's recovery. Any input is welcome.

13 April 2005 2153z
13 April 2005 2153z I'm not quite sure what to talk about today. We made some progress on some changes we wanted to implement over here, so that was one positive for the day. I finally made it back out to the gym yesterday morning too. That was a nice stress reliever. And then there were my various meetings yesterday. The three combined totaled a little under three hours. I can only imagine what today is going to be like.

I tried to get back into the polyphasic schedule today, taking short 20-30 minute naps three times. But then late in the evening, I decided I was going to take a break from work and practice some French back in my hooch. So I leaned back in my bed and started reciting phrases to myself. That probably lasted between four and six minutes. I woke up in a panic. It was 8:30 on my watch and being out of it, I thought I slept through both my 0400z and my 0600z meetings for tomorrow. Luckily, I had only been asleep for three hours and it was 2030z. I almost peed my pants. You have to admit that there's nothing that'll wake you up faster than realizing you've overslept. You know what I mean?

Other than that, I'm just kinda falling into a routine around here. Sometimes I wonder where the days go. That's good and bad. I usually lose track of time because either 1) I'm busy or b) I'm in a bit of a daze from lack of sleep. But I think I'm still getting an above average amount of work done, so I don't feel too bad. Yeah, if I had to grade myself, I'm sitting at around a middle B right now. Of course, if you graded on a curve, I could probably get bumped up to an A. With that said, it's back to work.

12 April 2005 2356z
12 April 2005 2356z Okay, so for the second time in three months, my thumb drive died on me. Different thumb drive this time, but same problem. Luckily I'd backed it up 5 days prior this time; unfortunately, I have no clue what I've done since then. Oh well. You know that saying about crying over spilt milk? I guess that applies here.

That's not really what I wanted to talk about today though. I hadn't realized that my readership had increased by so much until I had a few of my NCOs approached me about some comments I made on my page yesterday. I don't take back anything I said, but I do admit that those are the kinds of thoughts I usually keep to myself...and they are ones that I will probably continue to keep to myself in the future. If I do have any any soldiers out there reading my page, I would hope that the stronger ones see themselves in the positive things I have to say and that the weaker ones see themselves in the things that are said in a more negative light. That's all I'll say about that because I just spent the last half hour writing and re-writing sentences in order to keep from sounding too critical or too whiny.

So instead of talking about the military today, I will talk about flowers and urinal cakes and all of that other fluffy stuff. Or maybe I'll just go to the gym. Yeah, I'll try that.

11 April 2005 2150z
11 April 2005 2150z I feel bad already for saying what I did about sergeants complaining. I mean, it's completely true, but there are definitely some good NCOs out there as well. It's kinda like at school; how you tend to spend so much of your energy on the bad kids, that you sometimes overlook the good ones. I had an issue last night...kind of a lose lose where I had a squad that I had to send back out on patrol after they'd already been running for most of the day. I mean, that probably doesn't sound bad; but when you return to base (RTB) around 11:00 at night after operating all day, it's not always easy to tell your men that they have to go back out for another 10 hours. And as hard as it was for me to tell the squad leader this, I can only imagine the resistance he got from his own squad. I wouldn't blame them for cursing my name for a few weeks/months/years for this. But I think they understand what's going on. I looked into that sergeant's eyes tonight knowing full well that he didn't want to do it and I couldn't blame him. But when he realized that it had to be done, he just turned around and started making things happen. That's how things are supposed to work in the military.

Selfless service - that's one of the seven core Army values. Around here, as we close month nine of our time here in country, it isn't something you see displayed all the time. But when you do, it does make you feel good to be a part of this big machine.

11 April 2005 1625z
11 April 2005 1625z It can be a tough job sometimes. I mean, it's not hard like quantum mechanics or multivariable calculus; but there are just some tough decisions you have to make. I've been fortunate enough never to have had to make a life-or-death decision in my time here, but there are decisions that you make that have an impact on the safety of a lot of people...and in the end, that could mean lives. In the Army, we have a little tool called a risk assessment. It's a color-coded chart that helps you to identify risks and implement safeguards to help reduce that risk. It's definitely a cheesy kinda thing to do, but it definitely has its place. Anyway, with our unit keeping busy here, on towers and in our other missions, sleep is becoming a bigger and bigger issue. And believe me, contrary to what some soldiers believe, I have a very strong understanding of sleep and the affects of not having enough.

I have subordinate leaders coming up to me all the time telling me that their guys don't get enough sleep. Some of them have valid points, but some of them are full of B.S. There are times when operations pick up so much that the guys don't get enough sleep, and that can get dangerous. But at the same time, some of these Sergeants just don't have the courage to stand up to these grown men and tell them to put away the video games and go to sleep. In some cases, that's all that is needed. I mean, I understand the need for time to unwind. But if they have 10 hours before their shift begins and they want to unwind for three hours before they go to bed, that's a conscious decision that they make. Their leaders shouldn't be coming up to me saying that their guys need some more time off. I feel like they need to play mom and dad and make their guys go to sleep if that's what's really needed. I don't know...it's frustrating because we're constantly going to bat for these guys, and there's a large percentage of them that are just flat out lazy.

Okay...I'll stop complaining. I just had to get some of that off my chest. I know I have a large role in this too. If First Sergeant heard me complaining like I just did, he would repeat the phrase I recite to him all the time when he complains. It's one of the many PSC mottos: Please, Stop Crying. I am also particularly proud of one that I used during ODP yesterday. Of course, I said it in jest, but I meant it to. It goes a little something like, "Ask not what 3rd Battalion can do for you; ask what you can do for 3rd Battalion. I don't think that flew very well, but I really do mean that. You have soldiers going around all the time thinking that they are entitled to certain things. And to a certain extent, they are right. But at the same time, they fail to realize that while they are entitled to certain things, they also have certain responsibilities to the Army and to this unit. Too often, they spend so much time on the former and don't take ownership of the latter.

Okay, okay...I know I said I was going to stop complaining. Let's talk about some good things. I got a haircut yesterday...always a good thing. I also got a new hat. It looks just like my old hat, but cleaner. Then there's my French phrasebook that my family sent to me in the mail. I started flipping through it and had flashbacks of Monsieur Beeckman's class back at TJ. It was neat though. I was really surprised by all of the stuff I remembered from my three years of French that I took some 8-10 years ago. Anyway, thanks fam. I'll be more positive tomorrow. For now, it's nap time.

10 April 2005 1412z
10 April 2005 1412z Sunday = ODP, right? We have it every Sunday; but with the commander gone on leave now, I think a bunch of the LTs thought that we were going to get a bye. So when noon rolled around and Roo and Sascha and I were the only people present in the battalion classroom, I put out an APB for the rest of the lieutenants. About 15 minutes later, the class more than doubled and we were well on our way to another successful ODP. I wouldn't be surprised if some of them were a little pissed at me though and have a picture of me up on their dart board now. Today's topic of discussion was kind of a continuation of last week's meeting, so I thought they'd be pretty into it. We went over all of the things that lieutenants are expected to know but were never told. Going over last weeks issues, we filled in some more gaps in the hopes of creating a kind of SOP or officer's guide for future generations of platoon leaders and comopany grade officers. It was pretty good. We just talked for an hour, at times reminiscing about OBC or various screw-ups we used to make back in the States. And in the end, we came up with a huge list of things to include in the guide. Now we just have to put it all down on paper. We'll save that for next week.

In other news, the cleaning people from KBR replaced the old urinal cakes with a new flavor today. I can't put my finger on it, but it's kind of like a peach flavor or something. I noticed the change in color and scent almost immediately, but I held back from sticking my nose too close out of fear that someone would walk up behind me. Being in charge, you don't want the reputation of being a urinal cake sniffer. Heck, even if you aren't in charge...

09 April 2005 1726z
09 April 2005 1726z So I realized today that I spend more time in meetings and preparing powerpoint slides for meetings than I spend doing anything else around here. That is sad. I have come to the realization that I am a pogue...or a REMF. That's a new acro that I learned yesterday. I'd heard it before, but never realized what it stood for. Rear Echelon Mother F...you can probably guess the rest. But yeah, it's sad but true. It's hard to believe that they still allow me to wear the crossed rifles. Oh well...I'll get over it.

With that said, after a pre-meeting for the big meeting and the big meeting itself, I found out that the two other meetings I had for the day were cancelled. Great news, right? Because of the abundant lack of scheduled items on my agenda, I was actually able to fall back into my polyphasic routine today. I will take nap number four once I finish up today's entry. But with all the extra time associated with the cancelled meetings, I ended up taking some time for myself today. I started reading World's Best Jokes & Humor, which was sent to me by the Chus. It was great and it had me laughing out loud. I needed that.

I also took some time to read through nerd_gone_wild, a blog that Crystal just started. Crystal is one of my more memorable students from my 7th period IB Physics I class back at Mount Vernon. She used to stay after school all the time and I would always be happy when she brought me homework from Mrs. Garber's Math Methods class. Then there was the time that she decorated my classroom with snowflakes for Christmas and she made me a wreath out of christmas-colored goldfish too. Anyway, I was reading through her adventures and it made me miss teaching all the more. I don't know if they'll have a job for me at Mount Vernon when I get back, but I don't know...maybe I should give them a call soon. It is only a few more months before the school year wraps up then starts anew. Anyway, nerd_gone_wild...I miss wearing teacher clothes.

08 April 2005 1505z
08 April 2005 1505z I guess everyone has heard about the helicopter crash by now. I won't talk about that too much as it just makes people worry more. But they are going to have some sort of memorial service tomorrow morning. Some of my support platoon guys worked really closely with a couple of the deceased, so they will be attending. Along with them, about a dozen of my PSC soldiers will be providing a funeral detail. The last few days have been pretty somber, with the weather not helping much to lift our spirits. There was also a communications blackout (basically a direct order for soldiers not to contact home) until the Department of the Army could notify the families of those who died. There was something similar when Cherry and Beasley died, but this one was a little tougher because no one knew exactly who was in the aircraft at the time of the crash. You see, everyone flying on a bird is supposed to be manifested, but a lot of times, pilots and crews will allow a few strap-hangers if they're headed in a certain direction anyway. I don't know if any of that happened on this flight, but it did take a while to identify all of the passengers.

Other than that, things are moving along at their usual pace. We've had a lot of high ranking visitors around here over the last few days...all wanting to visit our guys up in the towers. There was our battalion commander, the National Guard Bureau Chief of Staff, and the Command Sergeant Major. We also have a group from the Center for Army Lessons Learned interviewing a bunch of our junior leaders about training and their overall experience here in Afghanistan.

Anything else exciting? After two hours of meetings over at BDOC today, I walked by the P/X on my way back home and decided to stop in to do some loitering. I went in with the intention of picking up some pogeybait (a.k.a. junk food), but I couldn't find what I really wanted. So instead, I just walked around for maybe fifteen minutes looking at all of the new things that popped up. In preparation for my possible trip to Europe, I ended up spending 25 bucks on a power converter. I don't know...it was nice to spend some money. I don't do it very often around here.

Oh, and I was in the guard shack this afternoon and noticed that there was a new issue of the Sniper out. That's the sometimes witty, sometimes inappropriate, and often funny "underground" newspaper written by some of the soldiers in B Company. I was a little worried that they were going to tear into me for some reason, but they were surprisingly gentle on me in my first appearance. Comments were made about my color-coded, yet often misunderstood schedule designed to give them a little extra time off. And then there were some physics and polyphasic sleep references too. Overall, it was surprisingly flattering. But being in the position that I am in, I should probably play it off and pretend like I don't care. Forget I mentioned it, okay?

Last thing before I leave. It was snowing today...not much, but a few flakes here and there. Crazy, huh?

06 April 2005 0450z
06 April 2005 0450z Wow...busy time over here as the Commander is about to go on leave. Actually, right now, I am technically the commander. I signed my first assumption of command memorandum today, and it felt pretty good to have that change in my signature block. Instead of putting Support Platoon Leader or Assistant S-4 or Battle Captain or PSC OIC, I can summarize my job with one word: Commanding. Hehe, that's pretty cool. Not that I'll be doing anything all that different. I still have the same job I do every day. Just now, when things go sour and colonels are ready to explode, I don't have a captain standing behind me to take some of the blast. There's a little extra paperwork too. Well, actually a lot, but I've gotten used to that over the course of the past year. So yeah, good stuff.

Other than that, things are getting a little busier as we are breaking in a new higher headquarters at BDOC. They're new, so they want everything nice and shiny. This being a desert and all, they don't understand why all of our equipment has sand on it all the time. But we'll try to keep things cleaner for them and hopefully get them off our backs long enough for them to take a look at the bigger picture. We're trying to implement a whole bunch of changes as well, and the more we can keep our guys out of trouble, the more bargaining power we've got to push our agenda. That's the biggest challenge right now. Some guys have been up in the towers for nearly nine months now, so we need to change some things before they go crazy. Around this time in any deployment is when fights start to break out between soldiers because they think there's nothing left to lose or because we're just so close to getting home and guys just aren't thinking straight. That's with any deployment. So with a job that's even more repetitive and monotonous than postal work back in the States, I can only imagine what the next month or two has in store for us. And lucky me, I get to sit in the hot seat for a few weeks while my Commander heads back stateside.

Anyway, with that said, I'll go ahead and go all out for the next three+ weeks here until the CO gets back. Once he puts his boots on the ground, though, I will be heading off myself. I've all but decided on France now, and it's looking like I'll be headed out late, late April or early May time frame.

With that said, I'll leave with today's link courtesy of the sister. It's about a case of genetic discrimination right here in the United States. I know that a lot of people probably don't take the topic very seriously; but for people involved, it's a very big thing. So if anyone is interested in more background information about this topic, here are a few links: the Straight Dope: What's wrong with cousins marrying? and CousinCouples.com. For you science types who argue about genetic disorders and diseases, I think your argument is very weak if you actually take a look at the numbers. And hey, for you religious types out there who want to make arguments against this stuff, keep in mind that Adam and Eve's children had to have children and grandchildren. Where do we think everyone else came from? Or I guess you can take it further down the line to Noah and his three sons. I mean, geez...of all the people to take a moral stand against incest. And I'm not saying that I'm a big fan of incest either. I'm just saying that I don't like anti-incest propoganda. So with that said, good morning.

04 April 2005 1723z
04 April 2005 1723z So I tried to get my naps in today, but it just didn't work. There was always another thing popping up. And while normally, I would love to use this forum to complain and gripe about a number of things...today, I really don't have that much to complain about. I mean, it was a looong day. They are all long days these days, but today was bad. I can't really fault anyone in our unit for it though. We were just a casualty of circumstance today, and things just got hectic at times.

But with that said, I think I'm going to bed. I'm going to try to get back on that polyphasic horse before I start going too far in the other direction. Heck, in the last week, I've probably averaged almost five hours a sleep each day. Tomorrow, we'll start trimming that back down. Until then...

04 April 2005 0320z
04 April 2005 0320zHave you ever had a dream within a dream? Well, how about multiple nested dreams. I just woke up and I'm trying to get it all down before I forget, but I want to say that this was a quintuply nested dream...the first I've experienced. It started off with me waking up on a normal day...and then all of a sudden I see people screaming and jumping down to the ground. I can't hear what they're saying, but they're yelling something, and then they start running to the bunkers. I try running as well, but to no avail. I can see smoke rising from a building no more than 30 meters in front of me and I know I need to get to a bunker before it gets worse. I see a bunker just a few feet to my right, but I can't move, no matter how hard I try.

Then I wake up...I start talking to people about my dream, explaining that in my dream, I'd probably gotten hit by shrapnel or something. It must've hit me in such a way so as to paralyze me...which explains why I couldn't move to the bunker. I forget who I'm talking to, but he recommends that I go see a doctor because there might be some residual physical manifestations of a dream like that.

Then I wake up. I'm in my hooch and I start to talk to some people about the weirdest dream I just had. It was a dream within a dream. I asked them if they'd ever experience that before...and then my old commander yells at us for talking while he's trying to sleep. When I think back on that dream, it should have struck me that my old commander was out of place. He doesn't live in my hooch. But you know how dreams don't have to make sense, so it didn't raise any eyebrows at the time. I get a little pissed at him, but return to my area and mutter something under my breath before changing clothes.

Then I wake up. There's a soldier standing over me. I don't remember who he is now, but I recognized him as being friendly.

Then I wake up. That last dream didn't last more than 3 seconds. The soldier disappeared. Was I seeing things? I looked around to see if there was any indication of anyone else being around. No, I determined that it was just another dream within a dream. It must be time for me to get up, but I can't seem to pull myself from my bed. I try and try and try. It's that temporary paralysis thing that I forget the name for. You know how when you sleep, your body cuts off the connection from your brain to your spinal cord...that way, when you dream, you don't actually act out all of the motions. So I can't get up.

And then I finally wake up for real. I'd never had a nested dream experience like that before. I think there was one more part of the dream because I remember bending down to pick up my dog tags when my chain broke. I don't know if that happened in one of the dreams I mentioned or if it was in something that I'd forgotten and left out. But what's strangest is that all of this occurred in a span of a 20-minute nap. Amazing, huh?

04 April 2005 0130z
04 April 2005 0130z It's been a busy last few days full of paperwork and administrative fire-fighting. You know what it's like...all these random issues popping up that you have to address and fix before they spread and become huge. So there was the First Lady's visit and then a couple of incidents with the media and then there's been an increased workload for our guys on top of all of that. And you know, the busier you get the more frequently the issues start popping up and I don't know...there's never a dull moment around here. Anyway, with all of that going on, I haven't been able to take my naps nearly as regularly as I have been doing in the past and my sleep plan B has all but gone the way of the dinosaurs. After three and a half weeks of this experiement of mine, my daily average just tipped over 4 hours near the end of last week; so that's a little disappointing, but I've been getting what I've needed to get done for the most part. So I'm not too worried.

Some positives over the last 24 hours include my return to the gym. I think it'd been about a week. I have lost some of that internal motivation and needed a little peer pressure to get me to go this time. But once I got in there, it was like seeing an old friend. Speaking of which, Josh Kanownik...haven't heard that name in a while, right? I jumped on AIM the other day, and got to talk to him for a little bit. He seems to be enjoying the married life. And that's awesome. I really envy him and Craig and Brett and all of my friends that have found love and gotten married. I'll throw my brother in there too, though I guess he's going to take a little more time before he ties the knot.

I don't know...I don't really have too much to write about today. I gave myself a haircut today to give me a pick-me-up. It always feels good after one of those. But other than that, NSTR. Hopefully, I'll have more to write about tonight...or maybe not.

02 April 2005 1820z
02 April 2005 1820z You know that phrase about how the pen is mightier than the sword? It is so true. Let's talk about the media. I didn't mention it the other day, but after we had that patrol go out with the reporters from ABC and the Pentagon, I spent about four hours of the following morning conducting inquiries and then briefing various full-bird colonels on the actions of my men on the previous night. It was definitely good practice for command, but not an experience that I'd like to repeat. Suffice it to say, I will probably decline the next opportunity to escort news media around on the battlefield.

Now, let's talk about the Richmond Times Dispatch, which published a quick little one-page article linked to the front page of their internet web site. I don't know if they actually printed this, but it's out there. Anyway, it was a pretty frustrating article to read due to its lack of or disregard for certain details. But hey, we got in the paper, right? And you know how the saying goes about how "there's no such thing as bad press?" Well, I'd say that this would be one of the exceptions to the rule.

In other news, I am closing in on acquiring a slot for leave and I'm getting more and more excited about it every day. Right now, I'm looking at a date just under three weeks away, so I talked to the commander today about designating someone to take my place for that period. I gave him my suggestion and he (the commander, that is) concurred. I haven't broken the news to the poor LT yet, but I'll do it tomorrow. I'm sure he'll enjoy it...or maybe not. Anyway, I did a little more research and I'm thinking about flying in to Paris. If anyone wants to meet me there, that'd be cool; but I was kinda thinking about making this a solo adventure. I mean, I miss everyone back home, but three more months won't make too much of a difference, I don't think. And I just see this as an opportunity that I don't think I'll get very often (short of volunteering for another year-long tour of duty). Anyway, just thought I would share that little nugget today. Other than that, life continues uneventfully over here.

01 April 2005 1543z
01 April 2005 1543z Okay, so there should be this rule that blogs aren't allowed to be used in April Fool's Day pranks. It's just too easy because you are supposed to believe what people say in blogs no matter what. I think blogs would even be admissable in court as evidence - you can ask a lawyer about that. So yeah, for all of you people using your blog to trick people on a day like today...shame on you. Hehe...actually, it's pretty funny. If I could have thought of something funny that wouldn't have made people worry about me, I probably would have tried it myself.

As far as jokes played today, there was one that stood out. Roo had just gotten back from an assignment at another base that pulled him away from his platoon. And he just got back like two days ago. So today, when his platoon was in formation and about to come on shift, Roo was no where to be found. Instead, his executive officer (XO), a fellow lieutenant, took his place in the formation. He announced to the platoon that Roo's performance had been under evaluation and there were some things that he couldn't tell them. Suffice it to say, Roo was relieved of his position, and his XO was now placed in command of the platoon. He then went on to inform them that things were going to change now that he was in charge. They were going to have PT formation in the morning as well as a full layout to identify deficiencies. It was great. You could see people getting upset and some a little scared because the XO had a very different leadership style compared to Roo. Anyway, they let it go on for about 15 minutes or so before he released the platoon. I could see Roo peeking around the corner to see how his guys were taking things. Then just as they were about to load the trucks, their platoon sergeant pulled them all in and broke the news while Roo popped up from around the corner waving to his guys with a huge grin on his face. It was good...really good.

We had another one planned out involving MPs and such, but that one fell through because there was so much going on and we just didn't have the time to pull it off. I'm sure we'll get to it in the next few months though. Who says you have to play all of your practical jokes on April 1st?

31 March 2005 2222z
31 March 2005 2222z Home...*sigh* As our time here grows shorter and shorter, I find myself thinking more and more about home. Oh, did I mention that my brother is getting married? He made his announcement to the family via e-mail list. That's gotta be a Louie family thing. I can't imagine a lot of families making that type of announcement in that manner; but it doesn't seem all that out of the ordinary with us. So yeah...wow, my big brother is getting married. I mean, it's about time, right? My parents got married at what...20...21? My siblings and I range from 23-28; and until this announcement, my grandmother has probably been wondering if she was ever going to get some great-grandchildren. I just don't think we instilled a lot of confidence in her. I mean, Lenny...he brought a girlfriend or two around the house. They (the family) were always happy with him because he would bring a nice Chinese girl home with him. Jane...I think over the years, my parents have mellowed out about the guys that she's brought home. Yenny...they've probably given up on her and at times question her sexual orientation. *chuckle* I'm sorry, but I'm just trying to be honest here. And me, I don't know what they think about me. More than half the girls I've gone out with, I've met over the internet and they're probably worried that I am going to end up with some russian mail-order bride.

I guess that's my way of saying Congratulations, bro. I guess I could have sent him an e-mail or called; but I figured I'd do the Louie family thing and communicate with my family through blog. I'm surprised my brother didn't just post it on his page and wait for people to reply. Anyway, Lenny hinted to a wedding in September, so I should be back home in time for that. I just don't know about finding a date. Anyone interested?

I don't know...I talked to my other First Sergeant about leave a few days ago. He said he'd try to track down a slot for me. I'd probably be leaving in late April if I end up going. I've kinda narrowed the field to Europe somewhere, and I'm leaning more toward France because I'd like the opportunity to use my three years of high school French that has all but disappeared from my memory. Hey, Jane...any chance you can send me some of my teacher clothes and maybe a little pocket dictionary? Hehe...there I go again. I could just as easily send an e-mail, but I know that Jane is going to read this anyway.

So I was talking to my ex-girlfriend yesterday. We broke up what...3 years ago?...and she still couldn't just come out and say that she was getting involved with another guy...probably because she knew it'd bother me. You could tell, though. I don't know. You know that feeling though...when enough time has passed that you're finally over someone, but it still kills you to see them with someone else. I know that's so high school, but I can't help it. I'm getting better and better at it though. It's like I said; socially, I'm very retarded. Maybe I'll fare better with French women. Any comments?